Websites to help stop bullying in school

To all advocate against bullying and abuse,

I have received an email (see below) for help with complete information on " recommendations you have for evidence based whole school models that prevent violence and bullying happening in schools".   I am copying you on an email that I send with links to other websites that may help out in stopping school bullying.

The world is too small for all organizations to work towards stopping bullying and abuse alone, therefore we must partner up and help save lives internationally as well as locally.  Thank you in advance for your help and support.

Here are a few websites that you should also check out:

[1] http://peacefulschoolsinternational.org/?gclid=CNi-zuPpl6oCFdBrKgodtQn7xA

[2] http://www.youthfrontiers.org

[3] http://www.lambdalegal.org/

[4] http://www.character.org/bullyprevention

[5] http://www.glsen.org/cgi-bin/iowa/all/antibullying/index.html?gclid=CPjp5MPsl6oCFZQ5KwodW3rizQ

[6] http://www.kidsdata.org/search/results.aspx?q=bullying

[7] http://www.odi.org.uk/results.asp?cx=007617177086193497200%3Av07dt6qsd_i&q=bullying&cof=FORID%3A11&sa.x=10&sa.y=7#1073

[8] http://www.onlineschools.org/resources/guide-to-school-safety/

Please check out and use whatever resources you need from our website http://www.haltnow.ca/.  As well I am redesigning this site so any recommendation you have to make it a better site would be appreciated.

All the best

John

Self Defense was seen as assault in court

I am the founder of Humanity Against Local Terrorism – HALT which website is http://www.haltnow.ca/. This is a website to help stop bullying, abuse and domestic violence.

I have to explain why I made a split decision choice to protect my son that goes against everything that I stand for.  Two years ago there was involved in an incident with another coach which ended up with me striking the other coach, in self defense, to stop him from going for a bat to either come after me or my 11 year old son.

I am adding the articles from a news reporter that has made me guilty before the court was even over. I am adding some of his articles for you to know that I am not hiding anything.

[1] Batting cage dispute ends in punch-up - http://www2.canada.com/calgaryherald/news/city/story.html?id=8a392a47-1bf9-4956-b1b5-7b504716e33d

[2] Dad applies for mistrial in batting cage rage case - http://www.pressdisplay.com/pressdisplay/viewer.aspx

[3] Founder of anti-bullying website avoids prison in batting-cage rage case - http://www.calgaryherald.com/life/Founder+anti+bullying+website+avoids+prison+batting+cage+rage+case/5114804/story.html

I have already applied for an appeal so that I can re-try my case. I fired my first lawyer and am presently taking him up against the Law Society for poor conduct and negligence. He had all the proof to help me get an finding of innocent and failed on every avenue. Even when the other coach said after he was asked “what were you going for?”, the other coach said “A BAT”. This is in the transcript.

Since this Blogging is new to me it may take me a little time to find out how I can get my transcripts from the court onto the Blog so everyone can read what was said and make up their own mind. I am innocent and will spend the rest of my life proving this. If anyone knows of a way I would appreciate your help.

I can only give my side of the story, which I believe must be stated, since all anyone is reading is the victims account; and his account was completely different from his two witnesses; yes even his two witnesses.  This incident all happened within approx. one minute and has changed my life completely.  Please read why I made a decision to go against everything I believe in and make a move for self-defence.

My side leading to self-defense:

[1] I coached baseball on and off for many years

[2] I had the batting cage booked every weekend at the same time for the entire season. When we were there we never had anyone else show up from other teams to practice, until the incident day.

[3] I came in and let the other coach know that I had the batting cage booked, which he in turn aggressively told me to leave and come back later. I must state that I had a cast on one of my feet.

[4] The only people in the cage at this time was the other coach, a player from his team at the end of the batting cage, my 11 year old son and myself. The only addition to this was one of his witnesses that came in during the incident and just watched everything transpire without stepping in.

[5] After trying to reason with this man I just ignored him and starting to move up the 115 lbs pitching machine into place with the hopes that the coach would realize it was time to leave.

[6] As I was getting closer to the pitching machines location he came over and knocked me over and into the pitching machine. As I was trying to keep this 115 lbs machine from falling over (bottom leg in cast) he immediately picked up a ball and pitched it to the player that was standing at the end of the batting cage.

[7] After re-setting the machine, he must have realized that I was not going anywhere so he started to pick up the basket of balls and threw them (x2) over the batting cage pitching area. Then started yelling “I am tired of you f***** guys…” He is swearing and kicking all the balls over the end of the batting cage. (his witnesses attest to this throwing of the balls).

[8] By now my 11 year old son is standing next to me since he was scared of what was going on.

[9] The coach then came right up to my face and said twice “Do you want to go”; which I said no. (One of his witnesses stated that he heard him say this, my son told the police officer that he said this and I said this in court.)

[10] After I said no he immediately turned around and started to lift up the mess (fish line) wall where his bat bag was laying. I stood there watching him and after I realized he was going for a bat I took a step towards him and hit him to try to stop him from grabbing a bat.

[11] I didn’t know what else to do since my son was with me, we were 20 feet from the exit where his witness had been watching the whole time, there were 2 baskets of ball scattered all over the area and I was in a foot cast.  I had no place to go.  I just swung to stop him from grabbing a bat and unfortunately hit him in the face. I am so sorry for hurting this man.  No one desearves to be hurt by another person.  All I was trying to do is protect my son and myself.  This was 100% self-defense.

[12] The only people now around at this time were a few extra adults. No other children.

[13] I confronted the witness and brought up the point that he (a) assaulted me by pushing me against the pitching machine, (b) threw 2 baskets of balls potentially at me, (c) asked me if “I wanted to go” and then (d) he was going for a bat. (One of his witnesses stated that I said this to him. Why would I say this immediately after unless it happened?)

[14] I immediately wrote down what happened in my vehicle and then went to the police to press charges on him for his assault with the pitching machines. When the police officer asked for the other coach’s name I did not know who he was so I could not press charges.

If I can get the transcript on you can read this for yourself.

At the end the judge ignored the other coach's witness’s accounts and judged me on the other coach’s account (which contradicted his own witnesses account). One of the main issues that I am confused about is how can this other coach lie in court to what happened while he had swore on the bible to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I bring this up since it goes against everything that I believe in.

I will continue to keep you up to date with what happens at the appeal date. I also think that it may be a good idea to add copies of the character witness statements that were included to help the judge understand you I am in so many words and my letter to the Law Society outlining in 7 pages every area that my 1^st lawyer dropped the ball in helping me receive a finding of innocent. Again, if you can help me understand how to add these documents I would appreciate it.

I started HALT to stop bullying, abuse and domestic violence. I am 100% against any sort of violence of any kind. That is why I have spent over 400 hours building this site as a starting point for people who are in trouble. I would not accomplish this dream and then do something to tear it down.

Over the past two years, I was guilty until proven guilty. I am innocent (it was self-defense and I did turn my check 3 times before I had to protect my family) and will prove it.

Bullycide in America (teenage suicide due to bullying)

This is a book of real stories about real kids. Kids who took their own lives because they thought it was their only way out of a hopeless situation.  It is about the tragic choices they made in an effort to end the pain - when they believed there was no other solution.

It is told by mothers who are willing to share their own personal pain as they watched their children suffer and struggle. It is about their own efforts to advocate for their children while they continue to deal with their own devastating loss and the aftermath of bullycide.

http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/books-and-educational-material.html

stop bullying and abuse now: ‘Too Asian’? (Cultural Bullying)

stop bullying and abuse now: ‘Too Asian’? (Cultural Bullying): "http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/documents-and-downloads/cat_view/57-bullying/97-cultural-bullying/98-asian-cultural-bullying.html Worries t..."

‘Too Asian’? (Cultural Bullying)

http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/documents-and-downloads/cat_view/57-bullying/97-cultural-bullying/98-asian-cultural-bullying.html

Worries that efforts in the U.S. to limit enrollment of Asian students in top universities may migrate to Canada

by Stephanie Findlay and Nicholas Köhler

[click on link to read entire article]

What can a bystander do when they see a person being bullied - lots

http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/95-bullying-bystanders/240-the-active-bystander.html

The Active Bystander 

By Elizabeth Barnes, MSW

Most children understand that a bystander is someone who stands by someone else who is being harmed by another. However, children are unclear of the responsibility that a person has when they are a bystander. Children need to be taught that there are two types of bystanders: a silent bystander and an active bystander.  A silent bystander chooses to be silent and do nothing when someone is being harassed or bullied. An active bystander chooses to act and help the person who is being harassed or bullied. According to a research, most students are silent bystanders during bully situations. Children who are silent bystanders feel ashamed of being silent, afraid of retaliation if not silent, helpless and alone. In addition, children believe that silence is expected of them. Most children want to be active bystanders however they need help and support in demonstrating responsibility and courage. How can adults help children learn to become active bystanders? First, there needs to be an open dialogue about courage. Adults can explain to children that courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain with firmness and without fear. Adults can also explain that it takes courage to be an active bystander. Secondly, adults can help children practice courage by using the Active-Bystander Techniques through role-playing in a safe environment. The Active-Bystander Techniques are as follows: Say “Stop-It”! Loudly to someone who is bullying another. This often surprises the bully and gets the attention of others who may help stop the bullying; Remove The Target from the bully(s). This will help keep the victim safe; Get Help from a trusted adult. Children can get help from a teacher, counselor, parent or an adult friend. When children understand that courage is needed to be an active bystander and they learn to use the Active-Bystander Techniques then they feel more empowered to help someone else in a bully situation.

The problem with Girl Bullying

http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/96-childhood-bullying-girl-bullying/242-girl-bullies.html

Bullying is a nationwide concern at every educational level. Middle school is especially prone to bullying among girls.  Popular movies like Mean Girls depict girls bullying girls in American schools. Unlike the movies, real-life bullying is cruel and stressful for girls being bullied. Girls at the middle school level tend to emerge as bullies and victims...[please go to weblink above or http://www.haltnow.ca/ to read entire article]

Cyberbullying Victimization and Behaviors Among Girls

http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/documents-and-downloads/cat_view/57-bullying/70-cyber-bullying.html

[go to http://www.haltnow.ca/ to read entire article]

CONCLUSION

Results from previous research as well as the preliminary results found in this study suggest that females are more often involved in cyberbullying related behaviors both as victims and perpetrators. The amount of time spent on the internet and cell phones may be correlated with the frequency of these cyberbullying behaviors. The relational aggression styles typical of females are also suggested to have a correlation with these bullying styles. Research needs to continue to be conducted on gender trends in cyberbullying. Training and education for students and faculty will help spread awareness surrounding cyberbullying behaviors.

The Myths About Bullying

......The moral issue is plain. Every child is entitled to feel safe in the classroom, in the hallways of school, and on the playground. Children go to school to learn, and educational opportunity must be the great equalizer in America. No matter what your race, sex, or zip code, every child is entitled to a quality education and no child can get a quality education if they don't first feel safe at school.

It is an absolute travesty of our educational system when students fear for their safety at school, worry about being bullied, or suffer discrimination and taunts because of their ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, disability, or a host of other reasons.

The job of teachers and principals is to help students learn and grow—and they can't do that job in schools where safety is not assured.

The practical import of school safety is just as plain as the moral side of the equation. A school where children don't feel safe is a school where children struggle to learn. It is a school where kids drop out, tune out, and get depressed. Not just violence but bullying, verbal harassment, substance abuse, cyber-bullying, and disruptive classrooms all interfere with a student's ability to learn......

read more at HALT website: http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/89-school-bullying-the-problems-faced-in-schools.html

The Damage that Bullying can do - A Victim's Story

http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/88-stories-from-bullied-victims-/238-the-damage-that-bullying-can-do-a-victims-story.html

It is a major concern that bullying is not only happening in schools, at work as well as online more often, but it has become worse over time.  Bullying does not only happen in the places mentioned. It can happen at the mall, on the street, in the neighborhood, in a night club, anywhere. Anyone can be bullied, at any age. However, children, especially pre-teens can be at a very vulnerable stage when it comes to bullying. Bullying is not only attacking a victim physically. Harmful words such as name calling can be even more harmful as hurtful words will stick to the victim's mind for a long time. That is a  very common form of bullying, and I would say the most destructive type. Purposely excluding others from social circles is a form of bullying as well. Both boys and girls are equally as capable of bullying.

Children who are at risk for bullying are going to likely have physical differences (such as being heavy or extremely thin, or having acne, a deformity, or even having an unusual name). Those at risk for being bullied are also likely to have some kind of special need such as having learning disabilities or autism, or may be different otherwise. They may come from an extremely wealthy or poor family. The children who are at risk for bullying can have a variety of reasons to be targets. However, whatever the reason may be, schools and parents need to take the issue more seriously as it is happening more and more especially in schools. Victims who are bullied can be emotionally and even physically scarred, not just during the time that the bullying is happening, but for life!

The effects of bullying can include heightened anxiety and living in constant fear, becoming socially withdrawn, creating low self esteem, and even suicide in extreme cases. Victims who were bullied in school, as adults many times do not get married or become low achievers because they don't believe they are good enough or are worthy enough. Many can go into substance abuse as well, to escape from the painful memories. Fortunately, with more and more education about bullying, others are made to be aware that this is a serious issue. There are ways for bullying to be stopped.

Talking back at a bully is never a good idea as it can make the situation even worse. Ignoring the bully does not always help either. The best thing to do is to tell a trusted adult such as a teacher, guidance counselor or principal of the school the complete truth of what is going on. The child who is being bullied must tell his or her parents, as unfortunately many children do not as they believe it is shameful.  Other classmates who do not agree with the bullying needs to learn to step in and let the bully know what he or she is doing, is unacceptable. Others who may not be bullying others themselves, but are aware of a victim being bullied are just as guilty as the bully him or herself for not stopping the bully. However, telling an adult who is trusted is a must in order to help stop the bullying as he or she will step in.  The parents of the bullied victims will get involved and put a stop to it as well, before the serious damage can set in.

I am writing this article because I was bullied, pretty badly, especially in my early teen years- and I am still affected to this day, over twenty years later. I was a child with undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome at the time, had learning disabilities, acne, and was overweight. I was also obviously plagued with low self esteem due to that alone, and my social skills were very poor. However there were several bullies who did what they could to make my life horrible by making fun of me endlessly because of my deficits. They did what they could to mortify me. They succeeded. In more ways than that. Because I grew up with a food addiction to escape from the horrible emotions and memories. I never believed I was worthy of anything, achieved lowly in life and suffered from horrible depression, and overwhelming fears. I even shamefully admitted I cyber-bullied some people several years ago during some low points in my life. However, I did apologize for my actions and realized what I was doing was no different from what the bullies did to me.

I am married with two children, and one of them has autism. I do worry that he will be a target for bullying once he reaches that vulnerable stage. But thankfully I am armed with awareness and will do my part in educating others as much as I can about bullying. And even though I am still affected by what happened to me over twenty years ago, I have realized that my depression and feelings of unworthiness, and my destruction to my body was me allowing my bullies from the past to win. I cannot do that anymore, as I need to move on with my life and go after the things in life I know I deserve! I do deserve good things in life! I am not sure if I can ever truly forgive them, but I am working on moving on and not letting what they did affect me so much anymore. In a sense, I suppose that is forgiveness but, I still believe in karma and these bullies who tried making my life miserable will get theirs, if they have not already.

Fortunately I did not commit suicide, but I did have thoughts. However, the sad fact is, others who were bullied have. I want to help prevent not only another suicide due to bullying, but I don't want to see another victim of bullying live in such sadness and despair that I have for many years because of being bullied. It needs to stop, now!

Miriam Slozberg

Preventing Cyberbullying

Most parents don't know the first thing about how to set up a system to monitor all their child's online activities and cell phone exchanges.   In fact, most parents do absolutely nothing when it comes to monitoring their child's activities and communications. Many think that just installing a computer program is all it takes to ensure their kids are safe which an incomplete solution is at best. They don't realize they need a comprehensive strategy to fight this complex problem.

Teaching your children to respect others and to take a stand against bullying of all kinds helps too. Education can help considerably in preventing and dealing with the consequences of cyberbullying. The first place to begin an education campaign is with the kids and teens themselves. We need to address ways they can become inadvertent cyberbullies, how to be accountable for their actions and not to stand by and allow bullying (in any form) to be acceptable. We need to teach them not to ignore the pain of others.

Preventing Homophobic Bullying

• Start early - Intervene in homophobic harassment and name-calling when you hear it. Prejudice and hate are learned behaviours. Teach respect and an appreciation for differences at an early age before the seeds of intolerance take root
• Speak out - Confront homophobic bullying, when it is safe to do so, every time you see or hear it. Recognize that your silence indicates your support for the bully’s behaviour. Communicate that homophobic bullying is wrong and not acceptable
• Educate - Educate yourself and others regarding the negative consequences that homophobic bullying has on all children and youth

http://www.haltnow.ca/

stop bullying and abuse now: Consequences of Workplace Bullying

stop bullying and abuse now: Consequences of Workplace Bullying: "How can bullying affect the workplace? http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/50-workplace-bullying/111-consequences-of-workplace-bullying.html Work..."

Consequences of Workplace Bullying

How can bullying affect the workplace?

http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/50-workplace-bullying/111-consequences-of-workplace-bullying.html

Workplace bullying may cause extensive health problems for employees exposed to this hazard, including physical and psychological illnesses and injuries. It can impact on co-workers, clients, customers, business associates, family and friends. Bullying affects the overall "health" of an organization.

The costs to the organizations include reduced efficiency, unsafe work environment, increased absenteeism, poor morale, increased workers compensation claims and civil action. An "unhealthy" workplace can have many effects. The reaction of individual employees will vary according to the nature of the bullying. It is possible that employees who are bullied may experience some of the following effects:

·         Decreased morale

·         Decreased productivity and motivation

• Incapacity to work, concentration problems, loss of self-confidence and self-esteem or reduced output and performance
• Depression or a sense of isolation

·         Increased absenteeism

·         Increased costs for employee assistance programs (EAPs), recruitment, etc.

·         Increased stress

·         Increased turnover

·         Increased risk for accidents / incidents

• Panic attacks or impaired ability to make decisions
• Physical injury

·         Poorer customer service

·         Reduced corporate image and customer confidence

• Reduced quality of home and family life
• Stress, anxiety or sleep disturbance
• Suicide

A positive and civil place to work reaps the following types of benefits

·         Attract better talent

·         Develop a culture that values internal relationships and invests in employee individual success

·         Gain market share and earn higher revenue than competitors

·         Increase employee retention and reduce turnover

·         Increase the quality and quantity of work product

·         Improve communication among staff and managers

·         Improve health of employees and your organization

·         Look forward to coming to work and know your staff is looking forward to coming to work

·         Minimize workplace politics

·         Motivate, inspire and develop engaged employees

·         Obtain better performance results than an employee evaluation or disciplinary procedure Protect your company’s reputation and even obtain positive press about your workplace practices

·         Prove you are dedicated to providing a safe and healthy work environment for your

·         employees

·         Reduce absenteeism and medical leaves

·         Reduce workers comp claims and minimize litigation

·         Reduce workplace stress

·         Stop wasting time on employees who are dragging down the rest

Just because bullying isn’t obvious in your workplace doesn’t mean it isn’t happening. Workplace bullying is often subtle. The following suggestions can help you identify bullying behaviour:

·         Analyze absenteeism, productivity, turnover, stress-related leaves and early retirement—does a pattern emerge that suggests problems in a specific area?

·         Conduct confidential exit interviews and employee opinion surveys that ask direct questions about bullying. Watch for signs of discontent or lack of motivation. Pay attention to similar information coming from several sources, including employees, clients, colleagues, etc.

·         Look at your organization’s culture, structure and management style. Strong hierarchical structures and intense business demands can foster bullying.