Bullycide in America (teenage suicide due to bullying)

This is a book of real stories about real kids. Kids who took their own lives because they thought it was their only way out of a hopeless situation.  It is about the tragic choices they made in an effort to end the pain - when they believed there was no other solution.

It is told by mothers who are willing to share their own personal pain as they watched their children suffer and struggle. It is about their own efforts to advocate for their children while they continue to deal with their own devastating loss and the aftermath of bullycide.

http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/books-and-educational-material.html

A Child Called ‘It’ - A story of a child abuse SURVIVOR

Pelzer is the survivor of the third worst case of child-abuse in California’s history, a case he vividly recalls in A Child Called “It”. Here he tells of a childhood so horrific and, at times, so nauseating that while reading I found myself praying that there was a hell so Pelzer’s parents could rot in it for all eternity. And not just hell, mind you, but a special place in hell designed specifically for people like this, a level of hell beyond anything Dante could imagine.

The tale starts with The Rescue, March 5, 1973. Having had his head smashed into the kitchen counter that morning for some minor offense, the 12-year-old Dave is sent to the school nurse upon arriving at school. It is a familiar routine for the child; he lies to the nurse about the bruise on his head, spouting the ridiculous explanation his mother has instructed him to recite. The nurse, once again, doesn’t believe him and checks her file on the boy. Bruises, cuts, malnutrition, and, of course, the stab wound: it’s quite a thick file....(to read more - click on link)

http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/books-and-educational-material.html

stop bullying and abuse now: ‘Too Asian’? (Cultural Bullying)

stop bullying and abuse now: ‘Too Asian’? (Cultural Bullying): "http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/documents-and-downloads/cat_view/57-bullying/97-cultural-bullying/98-asian-cultural-bullying.html Worries t..."

‘Too Asian’? (Cultural Bullying)

http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/documents-and-downloads/cat_view/57-bullying/97-cultural-bullying/98-asian-cultural-bullying.html

Worries that efforts in the U.S. to limit enrollment of Asian students in top universities may migrate to Canada

by Stephanie Findlay and Nicholas Köhler

[click on link to read entire article]

Complete information on Domestic Violence

http://www.haltnow.ca/category-list.html

1  Myths and Facts about Domestic Violence 

2  Domestic Violence - Definition 

3  Domestic Violence - Introduction 

4  Domestic Violence - Adult Victims 

5  Domestic Violence - Sexual Abuse 

6  Domestic Violence - Who is an Abuser / Batterer 

7  Domestic Violence - Children Victims 

8  Domestice Violence - Government and the Law 

9  Domestic Violence - Types of Domestic Abuse 

10  Domestic Violence - Emotional Abuse 

11  Domestic Violence - Physical Abuse 

12  Domestic Violence - Stalking / Cyberstalking Abuse 

13  Domestic Violence - Psychological Abuse 

14  Domestic Violence - Economic Abuse / Financial Abuse 

15  Other Types of Forms and Tactics of Domestic Abuse and Domestic Violence 

16  Domestic Violence - Causes of Domestic Violence 

17  Long-Term Consequences of Domestic Violence 

18  Support and Help for Victims of Domestic Violence 

19  Domestic Violence - Economic / Societal Consequences 

20  Recognizing the Signs of Domestic Violence 

What can a bystander do when they see a person being bullied - lots

http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/95-bullying-bystanders/240-the-active-bystander.html

The Active Bystander 

By Elizabeth Barnes, MSW

Most children understand that a bystander is someone who stands by someone else who is being harmed by another. However, children are unclear of the responsibility that a person has when they are a bystander. Children need to be taught that there are two types of bystanders: a silent bystander and an active bystander.  A silent bystander chooses to be silent and do nothing when someone is being harassed or bullied. An active bystander chooses to act and help the person who is being harassed or bullied. According to a research, most students are silent bystanders during bully situations. Children who are silent bystanders feel ashamed of being silent, afraid of retaliation if not silent, helpless and alone. In addition, children believe that silence is expected of them. Most children want to be active bystanders however they need help and support in demonstrating responsibility and courage. How can adults help children learn to become active bystanders? First, there needs to be an open dialogue about courage. Adults can explain to children that courage is the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger or pain with firmness and without fear. Adults can also explain that it takes courage to be an active bystander. Secondly, adults can help children practice courage by using the Active-Bystander Techniques through role-playing in a safe environment. The Active-Bystander Techniques are as follows: Say “Stop-It”! Loudly to someone who is bullying another. This often surprises the bully and gets the attention of others who may help stop the bullying; Remove The Target from the bully(s). This will help keep the victim safe; Get Help from a trusted adult. Children can get help from a teacher, counselor, parent or an adult friend. When children understand that courage is needed to be an active bystander and they learn to use the Active-Bystander Techniques then they feel more empowered to help someone else in a bully situation.

The problem with Girl Bullying

http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/96-childhood-bullying-girl-bullying/242-girl-bullies.html

Bullying is a nationwide concern at every educational level. Middle school is especially prone to bullying among girls.  Popular movies like Mean Girls depict girls bullying girls in American schools. Unlike the movies, real-life bullying is cruel and stressful for girls being bullied. Girls at the middle school level tend to emerge as bullies and victims...[please go to weblink above or http://www.haltnow.ca/ to read entire article]

Cyberbullying Victimization and Behaviors Among Girls

http://www.haltnow.ca/resources/documents-and-downloads/cat_view/57-bullying/70-cyber-bullying.html

[go to http://www.haltnow.ca/ to read entire article]

CONCLUSION

Results from previous research as well as the preliminary results found in this study suggest that females are more often involved in cyberbullying related behaviors both as victims and perpetrators. The amount of time spent on the internet and cell phones may be correlated with the frequency of these cyberbullying behaviors. The relational aggression styles typical of females are also suggested to have a correlation with these bullying styles. Research needs to continue to be conducted on gender trends in cyberbullying. Training and education for students and faculty will help spread awareness surrounding cyberbullying behaviors.

The Myths About Bullying

......The moral issue is plain. Every child is entitled to feel safe in the classroom, in the hallways of school, and on the playground. Children go to school to learn, and educational opportunity must be the great equalizer in America. No matter what your race, sex, or zip code, every child is entitled to a quality education and no child can get a quality education if they don't first feel safe at school.

It is an absolute travesty of our educational system when students fear for their safety at school, worry about being bullied, or suffer discrimination and taunts because of their ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, disability, or a host of other reasons.

The job of teachers and principals is to help students learn and grow—and they can't do that job in schools where safety is not assured.

The practical import of school safety is just as plain as the moral side of the equation. A school where children don't feel safe is a school where children struggle to learn. It is a school where kids drop out, tune out, and get depressed. Not just violence but bullying, verbal harassment, substance abuse, cyber-bullying, and disruptive classrooms all interfere with a student's ability to learn......

read more at HALT website: http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/89-school-bullying-the-problems-faced-in-schools.html

The Damage that Bullying can do - A Victim's Story

http://www.haltnow.ca/bullying/88-stories-from-bullied-victims-/238-the-damage-that-bullying-can-do-a-victims-story.html

It is a major concern that bullying is not only happening in schools, at work as well as online more often, but it has become worse over time.  Bullying does not only happen in the places mentioned. It can happen at the mall, on the street, in the neighborhood, in a night club, anywhere. Anyone can be bullied, at any age. However, children, especially pre-teens can be at a very vulnerable stage when it comes to bullying. Bullying is not only attacking a victim physically. Harmful words such as name calling can be even more harmful as hurtful words will stick to the victim's mind for a long time. That is a  very common form of bullying, and I would say the most destructive type. Purposely excluding others from social circles is a form of bullying as well. Both boys and girls are equally as capable of bullying.

Children who are at risk for bullying are going to likely have physical differences (such as being heavy or extremely thin, or having acne, a deformity, or even having an unusual name). Those at risk for being bullied are also likely to have some kind of special need such as having learning disabilities or autism, or may be different otherwise. They may come from an extremely wealthy or poor family. The children who are at risk for bullying can have a variety of reasons to be targets. However, whatever the reason may be, schools and parents need to take the issue more seriously as it is happening more and more especially in schools. Victims who are bullied can be emotionally and even physically scarred, not just during the time that the bullying is happening, but for life!

The effects of bullying can include heightened anxiety and living in constant fear, becoming socially withdrawn, creating low self esteem, and even suicide in extreme cases. Victims who were bullied in school, as adults many times do not get married or become low achievers because they don't believe they are good enough or are worthy enough. Many can go into substance abuse as well, to escape from the painful memories. Fortunately, with more and more education about bullying, others are made to be aware that this is a serious issue. There are ways for bullying to be stopped.

Talking back at a bully is never a good idea as it can make the situation even worse. Ignoring the bully does not always help either. The best thing to do is to tell a trusted adult such as a teacher, guidance counselor or principal of the school the complete truth of what is going on. The child who is being bullied must tell his or her parents, as unfortunately many children do not as they believe it is shameful.  Other classmates who do not agree with the bullying needs to learn to step in and let the bully know what he or she is doing, is unacceptable. Others who may not be bullying others themselves, but are aware of a victim being bullied are just as guilty as the bully him or herself for not stopping the bully. However, telling an adult who is trusted is a must in order to help stop the bullying as he or she will step in.  The parents of the bullied victims will get involved and put a stop to it as well, before the serious damage can set in.

I am writing this article because I was bullied, pretty badly, especially in my early teen years- and I am still affected to this day, over twenty years later. I was a child with undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome at the time, had learning disabilities, acne, and was overweight. I was also obviously plagued with low self esteem due to that alone, and my social skills were very poor. However there were several bullies who did what they could to make my life horrible by making fun of me endlessly because of my deficits. They did what they could to mortify me. They succeeded. In more ways than that. Because I grew up with a food addiction to escape from the horrible emotions and memories. I never believed I was worthy of anything, achieved lowly in life and suffered from horrible depression, and overwhelming fears. I even shamefully admitted I cyber-bullied some people several years ago during some low points in my life. However, I did apologize for my actions and realized what I was doing was no different from what the bullies did to me.

I am married with two children, and one of them has autism. I do worry that he will be a target for bullying once he reaches that vulnerable stage. But thankfully I am armed with awareness and will do my part in educating others as much as I can about bullying. And even though I am still affected by what happened to me over twenty years ago, I have realized that my depression and feelings of unworthiness, and my destruction to my body was me allowing my bullies from the past to win. I cannot do that anymore, as I need to move on with my life and go after the things in life I know I deserve! I do deserve good things in life! I am not sure if I can ever truly forgive them, but I am working on moving on and not letting what they did affect me so much anymore. In a sense, I suppose that is forgiveness but, I still believe in karma and these bullies who tried making my life miserable will get theirs, if they have not already.

Fortunately I did not commit suicide, but I did have thoughts. However, the sad fact is, others who were bullied have. I want to help prevent not only another suicide due to bullying, but I don't want to see another victim of bullying live in such sadness and despair that I have for many years because of being bullied. It needs to stop, now!

Miriam Slozberg